Direction, Energy and Purpose

     Often I find myself contemplating future spaces I'll be in and reflecting on past places I've been, all of which do not exist here and now. These possibilities, while non-existent in the present, often dictate what the present I find myself to be in looks like. With so many possibilities at our fingertips, what makes us choose to walk the path we do? As I find myself here walking the path I've chosen I often wonder why I am doing it. There is a new feeling that has emerged in my life, I feel a drive for specific spaces and opportunities like never before. I see a path that I feel I must walk no matter what trials and tribulations stand in my way. 

     This purpose has brought new light to many aspects of my life, and I feel change as the first half of my twenties comes to a close. With the current status of my present life and the spaces I currently occupy, I feel satiated in the freedom of my twenties. The freedom of moving from space to space so quickly and with ease fills the joy in my curious young heart with every step. As the time in endless freedom passes by and new spaces become a memory, I feel closer to my goals set within a newfound purpose. The fruits of my labor and my free will shine through the moments of bliss looking into a dense jungle, deep valley, or serene ocean. 

    As I move through this time in my life and into the new year, and a new year of my own I find lots of time for reflection. Where I was a year ago. Who I was a year ago. What the past year has taught me. All of these thoughts and ideas culminate around me as I move into the new spaces before me. This time for reflection and the space to have a complete presence with myself here and now has allowed me to see more clearly than ever before. Looking back on my actions and the connections that were brought in and out of my life and the way these experiences align with who I am and how I want to be, I feel I have been able to move through the place I find myself in now with ease. This ease comes from the new feelings of trust within myself and the recognizable growth I feel so tangibly within myself. The constant signs and affirmations I see more and more as my presence allows me to have more trust in myself and others, gives me everything I need to know that I am continuing in the right direction.  I am proud of who I am and what I'm doing. I'm grateful to the people close to me and the endless love and support I feel every day near and far. I'm driven by new goals to create new spaces and possibilities for the years to come.

    The sense of being lost that I felt throughout the late years of my teens and the beginning of my twenties is dwindling and soon to be gone. Certain there will soon be a replacement of feeling with new senses of dark endlessness and peril. The idea that this feeling would go away and not change based on the future circumstances of my life yet to come would be naive, to say the least. All of these feelings combined with constant spacial and cultural change leave me feeling as though there is much to be learned and equally as much to unlearn in this lifetime. The ideas of adulthood that take time to understand have also begun to solidify with new perspectives in the light of purpose. Knowing the circumstantial truths of my life and furthering the understanding of who I am and who I would like to become; I see clarity in the connections of higher education, career, family, and the need for purpose. The everyday tasks of life and work can support you not only financially but on a deeper more spiritual level that intrinsically fuels your soul. The interplay of the two and the path you take to get there is what being in my early twenties has taught me. 

    After being shown the path to a career in healing and communicating with people on a deeper level, something inside me aligned in ways like never before. The sense of "when you know, you know," has finally made sense to me in my life for the first time. Now with this new and unexpected goal to drive me forward, I feel I have completed the path to now. In a place where the soon-to-be future spaces have changed infinitely in the direction I forge. The space of wandering and learning coming to a close in a climactic fashion with a trip to see the world just feels right. As I continue to enjoy and explore the depths of these spaces here and now I feel the ever-growing pull of fate moving me to the next chapter of this decade.

    The idea of moving through life "on schedule," is a facade. The idea that you are an able body for only so many years of your life and depending on your sex organ may only have a few decades to reproduce is a truth. But regardless of either fact, there is no time frame for which anything in life must be done. The importance of now and being able to recognize how you got here, where you want to go, and how you feel will get you further than putting your life into a social schedule. Continuing to listen to your own intuition and move in the direction your heart desires will align your life with all the places you are meant to be. Keep directing positive energies into the world. Keep connecting with those around you. Ask, and you shall receive.

PostScript.

    Thank you again to all who continue to read and encourage me to write. The responses to the work I put out create a sense of drive and gratitude that continues to bring me back here for more. I wanted to take some time to write about this process and how it has come to be in my life now. I initially felt, as I have before in my life, a desire to write. It is very easy for me when I feel there is something I really need to express or digest. As time has gone on here I feel some things have come up to really push my drive to write, but also I have found it increasingly difficult. I never really expected many people to read and resonate with the words as I feel so many have. As I push myself to write now for the sake of writing I feel fear, I find difficulty writing to create something when that need to get something out has dissipated. Finding my process and doing so with an audience makes me somewhat apprehensive as I strive to put out work that resonates. Putting all of these feelings aside and working towards cultivating my ideas into words that you too can understand and think about is beginning more and more to be a creative outlet I truly love. So please keep sending me messages, whether it's encouragement, an edit, or a question, just know I want to hear from you.

Much Love,

-Eli